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99% of all Australians won’t read this

January 24, 2017 // 0 Comments

Today someone brought KFC chips onto the bus. That motherfucker. The worst was that he was doing that surreptitious eat-out-of-the-bag, thinking that no one noticed. But WE DID YOU SELFISH DICKHEAD. How dare you come onto the bus, with the flaming beauty that are KFC chips – the only chips known to make your nostrils feel like they’re Heidi [...]

Office politics…the players and the pawns

September 22, 2015 // 0 Comments

Over the last three years, Australia has managed to have 4 different Prime Ministers. This is not going to be a rant about how we seem to have an addiction to #spills [seriously though why are they called spills? Every time it happens I keep thinking of a large mug full of politicians spilling out and all these men in blue suits and light blue [...]

Shhh, it’s only quiet racism

May 2, 2013 // 1 Comment

I’ve been thinking about all these racist taunts on public transport recently, and it reminded me of my old primary school drama teacher. Everyone seemed to know that she loved casting only cute, blonde girls (who were invariably white…c’mon, peroxiding your hair blonde just wasn’t that big when I was 7). Me with my wild, black hair never [...]

The demise of newspapers in the age of information

April 9, 2013 // 0 Comments

I exceeded theage.com.au’s paywall within 13 minutes of the first day of operation which now means that I’ve got a month to not be up to date with news beyond headlines (so as far as I’m concerned Cher is also dead), calculate how long I think lap band surgery would take on Gina Rinehart (I decided that to do so, it would require an initial [...]

Australian politics and the mound of incompetence that is Canberra

March 23, 2013 // 0 Comments

I was meant to go to the Comedy Festival the other day but then I thought I’d save myself the $20, sit on the couch, turn on the television and watch Question Time instead. Now I know there are plenty of jokes to be had given the latest Labor farce, about politicians being a joke or acting like children or not having any brains, but I have to [...]