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Corporate

The 4 types of ‘Horrible Employees’

March 1, 2017 // 1 Comment

For all these years of my corporate life, I’ve complained, then I’ve moaned, then I’ve whinged, then I’ve sighed, then I’ve sarcastically learnt to deal with my issues with work by writing about them on a public blog like some corporate-martyr. I’ve always felt that it was ME who was getting the raw deal. That it was just me against [...]

99% of all Australians won’t read this

January 24, 2017 // 0 Comments

Today someone brought KFC chips onto the bus. That motherfucker. The worst was that he was doing that surreptitious eat-out-of-the-bag, thinking that no one noticed. But WE DID YOU SELFISH DICKHEAD. How dare you come onto the bus, with the flaming beauty that are KFC chips – the only chips known to make your nostrils feel like they’re Heidi [...]

How to balance work friends and not get slapped

October 11, 2016 // 0 Comments

“ERGHMEGHERRRD I heard that she slapped you, is that true???” No that’s not a quote, overheard in the locker of a high school girls’ locker room [interestingly I don’t really have many crazy American-style, girls’ locker room stories despite going to an all-girl school for 10 years….in fact the craziest thing I remember was when we [...]

I’m bored, I’m bored, I’m boredom boredom boredom

November 10, 2015 // 1 Comment

You know you’re bored at work when you spend an afternoon rejigging your To Do List and then write down “rejig to do list” on your To Do List and immediately cross it out to give you some sense of having achieved something. [as an aside, I’ve now managed to confuse myself as to whether I double space after a sentence ends or do I usually [...]

Office politics…the players and the pawns

September 22, 2015 // 0 Comments

Over the last three years, Australia has managed to have 4 different Prime Ministers. This is not going to be a rant about how we seem to have an addiction to #spills [seriously though why are they called spills? Every time it happens I keep thinking of a large mug full of politicians spilling out and all these men in blue suits and light blue [...]

The Official Dictionary of Management Speak and Office Jargon

August 13, 2015 // 1 Comment

  Have you ever just wished for once, just once, you could know how loud you are when you blow your nose? Seriously, it’s like one of life’s little mysteries. You’ll never be able to know how obnoxious (or blissful????) your nose-blowing could sound. And for self-conscious people like myself, the lack of knowledge I have about my [...]

The Adventures of a Corporate Troll

June 24, 2015 // 1 Comment

  Kayla Itsines is actually the devil. I know that sounds really harsh, but she actually is. But ‘devil’ in the sense that I think she’s freaking awesome for getting so many people exercise, and living healthier lives, but devil also in the sense that I just can’t do lay down push ups and I cry and throw a tantrum every time I see [...]

Using the mysterious power of silence to win arguments

May 6, 2015 // 1 Comment

I’ve always just assumed that I downright suck at conversation. It all started when I was five and whilst on the phone to my dad, my sister punched me in the arm whilst I was on the phone [for no reason at all…well no reason apart from the fact that I had made a hole in the wall which I promptly blamed on her] – ever since then, I’ve [...]