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Gyrating Mechanical Arseload Tank-tops (GMAT)

November 19, 2013 // 0 Comments

Guess what!? I’m baaaaaaaaaaaack! Time to call off the 200 German Shepherd search party led by the 3 not 4 star Army General, because I’m back bitches! [Sigh! It’s times like these that I really wish that I were famous and/or relevant enough to get AC/DC to follow me around playing ‘Back in Black’ as I walked up the halls at work, whilst [...]

Doctor, doctor, give me the news already

August 28, 2013 // 1 Comment

Due to an over-zealous attempt at being domestic and deciding to clean the bathtub, I now find myself once again back in the doctor’s waiting room with a bad back…admittedly it’s good to finally be vindicated and be able to tell my mum conclusively that I physically cannot do housework [hence she should come over and do it for [...]

Australia vs. England: The Ashes of our soul

July 25, 2013 // 0 Comments

I’ve spent the last 48 hours stocking up on cans of tuna, tomato, corn and any food product that is in can-form such that my house now resembles aisles 2 and 3 of my local CostCo. I’ve also bought 37 rolls of paper towel, an endless supply of IKEA furniture to assemble, then use the instruction pictures to create a long running [...]

The best way to deal with parking and speeding fines

July 17, 2013 // 0 Comments

You know you’re struggling when the most exciting thing to happen to you all month is the discovery of $15 fleece tights from Woolworths. So far this month, in addition to getting 4 parking fines [yes I heard that parking fines were actually the new ‘Tazos’ and decided to start my own collection…], I have also received a $352 fine for [...]

When you miss out on critical bits of basic life knowledge

July 10, 2013 // 0 Comments

So today I tried something different which seemed to make sense in my head but in practice failed miserably: FYI watering plants with Yakult does not make them grow any faster…and when I say ‘grow any faster’ I mean ‘generally grow at all’. I don’t profess to have any sort of ‘green thumbs’ [even though you need more than just [...]

Talking about my gen…meh! I’m bored already

July 3, 2013 // 0 Comments

I read this article recently about Gen Y. I got bored midway so ended up only reading the start and the finish but I got the impression that this was another crap-on article trying to understand Gen Y. Whatever. I don’t know why they have to make articles so boring and repetitive. Anyway whilst I did feel a slight urge to defend Gen Y, this urge [...]

Smells like coffee, tastes like shit

June 26, 2013 // 1 Comment

Due to a disgusting cough brought on by this disgustingly cold Melbourne weather, I found myself taking the day off from work and seated in a café eating breakfast. I did my obligatory ‘I’m sitting alone in a café’ freak out where I endlessly tinker on my phone including reading a page of an iBook then finally succumbing to checking [...]

Learning to budget so you have ‘freedom money’

June 19, 2013 // 2 Comments

Today I have negative eighty-six cents in my bank account. Wow that sounds much better when you write numbers out in words. As a result of requiring an eighty-six cent overdraft, the bank has charged me thirty dollars (again still sounds better in words), because evidently the over-riding policy of all banks is to let you fall on your sword then [...]

Lessons from an expert level social media stalker

June 5, 2013 // 0 Comments

So I’ve been looking for a photographer [ok, ok so I’ve been looking for a wedding photographer but be warned that this is not going to turn into some wedding blog about my wedding journey complete with click-through links to my non-existent Pinterest board….I don’t even know how Pinterest works or how you pronounce it really ….no I [...]