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An awkward person’s guide to dealing with awkward conversation

April 25, 2013 // 1 Comment

Have you ever wondered why they make street lights that dingy, orange-y colour? It’s such a disgusting colour and I’m pretty sure it encourages people to commit violent acts – “oh there’s someone standing in a dingy light, and the orange colour makes them look vulnerable, let me go attack them”. Why would you not just start with white [...]

At what age do you start drinking wine from a bottle not a bag?

April 21, 2013 // 0 Comments

On Saturday, as I was driving home, something incredible happened. As a serial radio-channel-surfer-especially-whilst-driving-because-I-hate-radio-ads-particularly-ones-about-how-effective-radio-advertising-is-because-it-clearly-isn’t…[dammit or maybe it is given that’s the only radio ad that I remember…that and that “hulllllloooooo [...]

Wiki-ing “Google” then googling “Yahoo”

March 23, 2013 // 0 Comments

I was just researching how to put horizontal error bars on a vertical bar chart in Excel but accidentally got distracted by reading about Ryan Gosling’s new movie. Oh my god, Eva Mendes is 39??? Wow she does not look a day over ….hmmmm…well actually I guess if my new frame of reference includes all plastic surgery lookalikes on the Real [...]

The best comebacks only come to you after you need them

February 6, 2013 // 0 Comments

As I was walking home from work today, a couple of guys ‘who were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighbourhood’ (LOL, I can’t help myself but break into Fresh Prince especially when I set myself up so well with ‘a couple of guys’. There are only two other lines that I’d happily break normal conversation for to mimic if the [...]

Myki – why touch when you can steal?

February 3, 2013 // 1 Comment

Have you ever looked up at the sun and just basked in its brilliance? It’s so amazing that something so large and all-encompassing can be seen by every human in the world at some point in their life. I sometimes feel like its glorious rays are just beaming down on me alone, giving me little butterfly kisses on the cheek. This is what happens [...]

My thoughts on getting older whilst at a boring luncheon

June 25, 2012 // 0 Comments

We had a (painful) “Analyst Lunch” today which basically is a lunch that they hold for analysts and directors after a whole bunch of juniors leave, thereby loading you up with an Clive-Palmer-arseload of work. They have lunch to see that “everything’s under control” and “no one’s overworked” but really they quite obviously don’t [...]

Getting to the bottom of my weight gain

April 22, 2012 // 0 Comments

This morning I had a choice that has traditionally been my decision, ripped away from me. You see, every morning I wake up, go straight to my cupboards and stand there for at least 15 minutes deciding on my “I’m corporate but still have personality” outfit, and critical to this moment is the decision between wearing a skirt/dress or pants. [...]

Can’t Be Fucked (CBF) Syndrome is real and it’s reaching epidemic proportions

January 23, 2012 // 0 Comments

Today at work, I was reflecting on the old adage ‘Get Rich or Die Tryin’. It might be the years of corporate greed that’s starting to seep into my bloodstream, but I’m actually starting to understand what Fiddy Cent meant by that. Except that whilst he was probably talking about dying as the victim of a drive by shooting following a deeply [...]