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Wiki-ing “Google” then googling “Yahoo”

I was just researching how to put horizontal error bars on a vertical bar chart in Excel but accidentally got distracted by reading about Ryan Gosling’s new movie. Oh my god, Eva Mendes is 39??? Wow she does not look a day over ….hmmmm…well actually I guess if my new frame of reference includes all plastic surgery lookalikes on the Real Housewives, I guess I’d have to say that she looks around 39…but a non-plastic surgery 39. Ok back to horizontal error bars….omg someone literally just walked past and was on the phone with his mobile up to his ear, but his hand covered the phone and he stuck his pinkie finger out across his mouth, so it literally looked like he was pretending to be on a ‘hand phone’ – you know the ones that they make you pick up on Play School? Hahaha what a loser! Ok back to horizontal error bars. 

I was actually just thinking this morning that there is rarely a day that goes by where I don’t call upon the magnificence of Google to solve every day dilemmas. From how to spell ‘dilemma’ to whether the story about a woman with no known recessive genes who ate lots of carrots and gave birth to a red-haired son, is true (FYI, it’s not…that’s 20 minutes of my life I’m never getting back). No but seriously, there have been countless times that I’ve been asked to do a task, quickly reached my quota of asking dumb questions of the task-giver, nodded and said “yep I know exactly what to do” then gone straight to Google and typed in the person’s task word for word. Works a treat! The best thing is that in university it may be ‘plagiarism’ but in the corporate world it’s called ‘research’.

I’m always so amazed how Google knows exactly which words are important and relevant – it’s like Google can read my mind (obviously because Google has some magical powers and not due to retaining and analysing my search histories). It’s like if search engines were guys, Google would be Ryan Gosling, so empathetic, caring and listens to what I say (yep that’s two RG references today)…that would also make Yahoo [haha I couldn’t think of an actor so just had to Google “Yahoo” then used Yahoo to search “ugly male actors”…that wasn’t pretty….I should really stop doing this on my work computer] anyway, I can’t find an appropriate male celebrity simile for Yahoo because Yahoo is shit but basically you get my gist…I’m better off digging up my old Encarta CD or even better, looking it up in an Encyclopaedia Britannica which on Day 1 of publication is already out-dated, than use Yahoo.

But actually, you must know that of all the free online searching tools only one truly has my heart. It’s blank white pages, plain text and ability to be read in ‘simple English’, makes my heart flutter at the thought of being able to read a ‘Related Article’. It is of course, Wikipedia. In fact, I’m sure you’d be interested to know that on this exact day eight years ago, I first discovered the wonders of Wikipedia – on a completely unrelated note, it is also this exact day eight years ago, that I started researching my first essay for Law School.

I love Wikipedia so much that I use it for everything – from work research to reading the greatest Wiki page of all time the ‘List of Unusual Deaths’ (I had to link to it since it’s so freaking awesome: Then there’s the ability to edit and feel part of a growing community of information – like when we found that Wiki had mistakenly said that Tatiana Ali, who played Ashley on Fresh Prince, was the daughter of Muhammad Ali – that was critical, community changing editing.

However admittedly my love for Wikipedia has potentially extended a bit too far – like I said, I like to Wiki everything, but that also extends to Wiki-ing the plots, episode guides and synopses of movies, TV shows and books. I’m pretty sure I think I’ve watched the full series of Dawson’s Creek but actually just read the Wiki page of every episode. My addiction to Wiki-ing is so bad that I’m known to Wikipedia as I watch movies, reading a couple of sentences in the plot line ahead of where I’m watching the movie – this is how I watched Finding Nemo recently and was totally shattered at the end when Nemo’s mum never returned. I also Wiki trashy TV – you know because I just need to know if Vicki and Ricci make it as a couple on Geordie Shore; and I have also been known to start reading books, then switch to reading the plot summary on Wikipedia – the most irrational thing about this is that I then switch back to the book and continue reading it….who does that?

Anyway I think my addiction to Wiki-ing everything is more symptomatic of my need to eradicate any suspense or knowledge gaps about what could happen. I’m pretty sure if there was a Wiki page about me, I’d read a couple of sentences ahead each day to make sure that there are no surprises. Something that will be totally useless when I get to the end of the Wiki page and under ‘See also’ they have a link to “List of Unusual Deaths”….died after reading how she died on Wikipedia.

About Arani Satgunaseelan (78 Articles)
Corporate nerd. Wannabe blogger.

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